So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
