There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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