Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
