Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Randomize
