Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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