drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
