oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
