She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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