I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Randomize
