There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
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Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
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Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
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