your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
