one might say we're banned from that church
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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