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• (516): View more from New York

  the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"

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• (440): View more from Ohio

  I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.

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• (651): View more from Minnesota

  i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.

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  21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn

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• (404): View more from Georgia

  His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.

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• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers

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• (914): View more from New York

  I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what

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• (908): View more from New Jersey

  I will fight anything that is not spinning right now

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• (510): View more from California

  Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.

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  19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”

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• (720): View more from Colorado

  We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.

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• (636): View more from Missouri

  Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.

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• (815): View more from Illinois

  best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.

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• (774): View more from Massachusetts

  Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.

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• (707): View more from California

  Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.

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• (512): View more from Texas

  Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?

  (1-512): View more from Texas

  yes

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