Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(208): View more from Idaho

I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait

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(561): View more from Florida

I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.

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(732): View more from New Jersey

no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in

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(917): View more from New York City

He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(613): View more from Ontario

you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.

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(313): View more from Michigan

Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice

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(201): View more from New Jersey

We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances

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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....

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