Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (212): View more from New York

  yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (212): yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money http://tfl.nu/z7es
  Replies (16) Good night (2279) Bad night (757)
• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (616): a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning http://tfl.nu/f62h
  Replies (29) Good night (5892) Bad night (1169)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.

  (1-214): View more from Texas

  that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (214): I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you. (1-214): that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary http://tfl.nu/469f
  Replies (36) Good night (7812) Bad night (884)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (440): Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them. http://tfl.nu/0bl8
  Replies (13) Good night (1005) Bad night (5022)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (519): mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing http://tfl.nu/5ec7
  Replies (7) Good night (3940) Bad night (1047)
• Favorite

  (915): View more from Texas

  Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (915): Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches" http://tfl.nu/07la
  Replies (17) Good night (6537) Bad night (1797)
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (920): I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night. http://tfl.nu/zpas
  Replies (11) Good night (3786) Bad night (2134)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (917): Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'. http://tfl.nu/jzlx
  Replies (12) Good night (877) Bad night (2621)
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (920): Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling. http://tfl.nu/jjpj
  Replies (33) Good night (2367) Bad night (1144)
• Favorite

  (218): View more from Minnesota

  No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (218): No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises. http://tfl.nu/ig53
  Replies (17) Good night (747) Bad night (2986)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+44): We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever. http://tfl.nu/yqo8
  Replies (3) Good night (877) Bad night (307)
• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (616): If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine. http://tfl.nu/wf47
  Replies (2) Good night (419) Bad night (330)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (248): Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider... http://tfl.nu/jksb
  Replies (4) Good night (599) Bad night (251)
• Favorite

  (701): View more from North Dakota

  Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (701): Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress http://tfl.nu/1hn4
  Replies (9) Good night (1035) Bad night (567)
• Favorite

  (605): View more from South Dakota

  I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (605): I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help. http://tfl.nu/advt
  Replies (0) Good night (312) Bad night (250)

Randomize