Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
high people should be assigned attendants
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
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