you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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