I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
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