yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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