And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
