I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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