My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Randomize
