Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
