Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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