You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
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