..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
