You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
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