There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
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