I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Randomize
