Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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