Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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