Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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