Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
