We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
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