I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
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