You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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