We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
