the new term for farting is butt boxing.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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