my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
