I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
