i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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