babies were throwing up all over the place
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
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