The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
