hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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