Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
