i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Randomize
