So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Randomize
