I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
there was a trapeze. enough said
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
only you would photoshop your dick
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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