Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Randomize
