i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Randomize
