Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
