Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
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You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
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I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
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