I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
sex in a hospital.. check
These tits shall not be calmed
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Randomize
