So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
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His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
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