We're like a lot better than the average bears
I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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