You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
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