She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
