how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
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