were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
