you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
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