After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
