just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
3 2 1 whiskey
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
