Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
