xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
