Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
