I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
