Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Randomize
